Thursday, November 19, 2009

I'm Known To Be a Creep To Most Male Celebrities

Last Fall When I Was Living Off Of 7th ST, I Had Absolutely No Tv/Cable, a Bf To Keep Me Company Or A Cheap Drug Habit. Our Neighbor Let Me Borrow Season 1 of Lost Which Was Awesome Because I Hadn't Seen Any of The First Season But Was a Die Hard Fan. I Was Watching Endless Hours Of Lost While My Room Mate Would Be At School Or Our Dog Lola Would Get Sick Of The Dog Park at Tompkins Sq.

If You Don't Watch Lost This Whole Entry May Upset You Or Make You Love How Much Of a Major Creep I am.

In The First Season Of Lost Currant Fang Banger (Vampire Dairies) Ian Somerhalder Played Boone Carlyle. (SIDE NOTE: The Episode of Lost Titled :"All the Best Cowboys Have Daddy Issues" Is One Of The Reasons Behind My Twitter Name.)Well It's Known Boone Dies Off In The First Season I Just Wasn't Sure When In The Season Or How. But When He Did I Was a Complete Mess. Boone Died In This Cave As Jack and Sun Tried To Save His Life After an Accident In The Forest With Locke.

I Got a Little Bored Waiting For My Room Mate To Get Home and All My Other Slutty Friends Were Off Getting Dick And Ignoring My Calls. It Was Still Mega Early So I Decided To Make a Pit Stop At My Local Watering Hole St. Dymphna's On St. Marks & Ave A. Back In The Day This Spot Used To Have An Outdoor Area You Could Smoke In. It's Still There But They Took Down The Faux Roof/Noise Barrier and It's Totally Not The Same.

So Back In The Bar I'm Sitting By Myself Drinking a Wheat Beer, As I'm Texting Everyone In My D&G Motorola Phone. Totes Being a Miserable Nancy Someone Caught My Eye. There Was This Gorgeous Model Type Guy Sitting With a Few People In The Corner Table Across From My Seat At The Bar. It Was Dimly Lit And My Beer Goggles Were Kicking In. Then I Saw His Face Completely....Blue Eyes,Scruffy Beard....It Was Him! IT WAS BOONE! No It Can't be, Why OF ALL BARS Would He Grace MY BAR?





I Continued Drinking My Boredom Away. But Couldn't Stop Staring At This Guy. I Was Way Too Chicken Shit To Say Anything So I Called The Remainder Of The Slags In My Phone....No One Picked Up....Those Bitches. Who Was In The Neighborhood That Loved Lost As Much As I Did That Could Show up Here In 5 mins To Help Me?

I Glanced up From My Phone. Oh Shit Where is He? Fuck I Missed My Opportunity To Confess My Heart To Him. That My Lustful Desires Of Being On a Monster infested Island!!! WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T I TALK TO HIMMM!!! Omg There he is! Okay Finish Your Liquid Courage And Stop Being a Pussy. But is it REALLY Him?

As Doubt Was Eating Up My Insides One Of His Friends Said His Name...."Yo Ian". It Was Him. Wearing a Stingy Brim Fedora He Looked Like a Stud. "Ian?" I Said As If Saying His Name Gave Me a Mini Heart Attack. He Turned Around And Step Into My Direction. "Yes?" He Billowed Towards My Asian Glow Infested Face. I Grinned, But Then Tears Started Jetting OUT OF MY FACE. "Ian I Watched You Die Today" I Weeped Loudly. His Nature Response Was "What?" Of Course...Then Before I Knew It I Had Told Him Everything That Happened That Day In 30 Seconds. His Friends Started Laughing And Screaming "I Watched You Die To" "I Watch You Die Everyday". I Blushed And Apologized Something I Rarely Do To Hunks But I Embarrassed Him Hard Body So I Felt He Was Entitled. I Had Asked Him If He Missed Living In Hawaii and If He Got And Hula Dancer Yani. If He Wished Sawyer Gave Him a Cool Nick Name Or If Charlie Had Hairy Hobbit Feet. He Smiled And Said He Was Glad He Still Had Fans. I Weeped Just a Little Bit Then He Assure Me He Was In Fact Alive. We Smoked a Cigarette And We Parted Ways.

Now Ladies and Gents....What You May Or May Not Know I Can Cry On Cue. Was This One Of Those Occasions? The World May Never Know.

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