Friday, July 23, 2010

TEAM ASIA!!!

I've Been Trying To Make This Blog For A While But Couldn't Get The Right Motivation For It. Well Today While I Was BBMing My Sister, We Talked About Our Crazy Relatives And How It's Effected Our Mental Stability. Growing Up In The Hamptons My Mom Had Her Sisters Help Out At Out Thai Food Restaurant. My Mom Is The 3rd Of 9 Children And Brought Majority Of Her Insane Family Over To The States.

My Aunt That We Call Nah Tah Helped Raise My Sister and I. She's Very Interesting To Watch, She Eats With Her Mouth Open, She Fights With Everyone And After 20 Something Years In NY She Speaks Less English Now Then She Did in 1995. She's Left At Summer Camp For 4 Extra Hours  And Burned My Food On Purpose, But I Know It Came With Love. Well As Much Love a Bitter Asian Woman Can Give Her Spoiled Half White Niece.

Then There's My Favorite Aunt Nah Gan,She Lives In Bangkok and London And Is BATSHIT CRAZY. She Looks Like The Asian Michael Jackson And Has Been Known To Dabble In Gambling,Prostitution And Heavy Drinking & Smoking. When I Was 17 I Went To Thailand Before My Senior Year. I Was Obsessed With Returning Back To School Looking Completely Different Then I Did When I Left In June. Sure Enough Nah Gan Loved The Idea And Brought Me To A Piercing & Tattoo Parlor. I Got 8 New Piercings That Trip And Right Afterwards I Got a 7 Hour Tattoo. Sure My Mom Went Into Shock And My Mother Hasn't Spoken To Nah Gan Since 2004.....She's Still My Favorite Aunt. Even If Her Nose Came Off After Deep Sea Snorkeling.

Can You Imagine Waking Up In a Foreign Country Next To an Asian Michael Jackson?

Asians Are The Bipolar Race. Either You'll Be Freakishly Hot, Smart And Into Cars. OR You'll Look Like a Gremlin With Long Eyebrows And AWFUL Teeth.



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