Selena Gomez Goes Off

2011 People's Choice Awards Same As In The Video

I Just Finished Writing Blog About Lalaine When Selena Gomez Decides To Post This Little Video Of Herself Doing Her Best Impression Of The Monster Nicki Minaj. Thanks Selena Stick To Your Love Songs About Not Having Sex And Thumbing Justin Beiber's Beaver. Thannnnks

Christina Aguilera and Max celebrating at Disneyland

With sin Sun acclimating to life after a divorce left Christina Aguilera sour again worship Lots of lovin 'Max As Han celebrated her third birthday Tuesday 11 January. The "Burlesque" star took her little man to Disneyland Resort in Anaheim, California, couple happily put pictures together Mickey Mouse, Minnie Mouse and Donald Duck. Tour two Disneyland Comes As Miss Aguilera's ex Jordan Bratman were spotted UD home furnishing shopping with Max in the course of last weekend.

Snow White Blows

When You Think Of Snow White She's Beautiful And Sweet. But Any Bitch That Can Wonder The Forest And Just Move Into The First Dodgey Cabin She Finds Is Kinda Skanky Yet Resourceful.She'll Clean Your House To Avoid Detection From Her Old Step Mother.....And The One Time She Accepts A Gift From A Stranger It Kills Her? Whack. You Should Always Trust Strangers With Treats.

Disney Wedding Dresses Pictures

There are two dreams each girl shares: to be a princess and marry her prince. Now that you've found your Prince Charming, it's time to plan the wedding of your dreams and find your dream wedding gown is probably the top of your wedding to-do list! Cinderella, Ariel, Tiana, Jasmine, Sleeping Beauty, Belle and Snow White. The collection will be available in sizes 0 to 30W in all Alfred Angelo Signature stores and choose Alfred Angelo partner stores by 2011.

All I Need Are DD Batteries

Ken Is Plastic, Fake And Beautiful Just Like Dr. 90210 He's Chesticles Are Perfectly Manicured.



Every Man Should Take Advice From a True Hearthob. Sorry Jason Priestley Your Looking Worst Then Jenna Jameson Coo Coo Ca Chu.



Let's Face It Total Babe. If Leo Voiced Him It'd Be Perfect....Too Perfect...Almost Dream Like

Sex Toys Unleashed

Toy Story 3 Is Upon Us.

I Have Offered Sexual Favors To Whom Ever Brought Me To See Toy Story & Toy Story 2 in 3D This Past Winter. Let's Just Say That Didn't Sit Too Well With Big Poppa. But I'm Still Super Pumped About Toy Story 3 And Thankfully Majority Of The Original Cast Members Haven't Died. (Minus Jim Varney)

So In The First Movie We're Introduced To The Beloved Patriarch Of The Toy Box Woody. He's a Lovable Cotton & Plastic Hero With a Heart of Gold Threads, Right? Not Exactly. When The New Hard Shinny Plastic That Was Buzz Lightyear Broke Into The Scene After a Birthday Party Things Go Down Hill For Our Beloved Cowboy. Things Like Jealousy and Hatred Creep Into His Soul Then Corrupts His Kingdom. Much Like The 60's When Cowboys Were Out And Spacemen Were In. Woody Struggles To Keep The Love Of His Owner Andy. Andy Showers Buzz With Love That Used To Belong To Woody. Even Writes His Name On Buzz's Shoe In a Smelly Black Marker To Show To The World And The Toy Chest He Was The New Supreme Toy.

Buzz Believing To Be a Real Space Ranger And Not A Toy Sees Woody As Only a Threat To His Mission To Return To Headquarters And Defeat The Evil Emperor Zurg.

So When Woody Tries To Trap Buzz In-between The Gap Of Andy's Desk; He Totally Over Shoots And Swings Buzz Out The Window. Leaving The Other Toys Horrified And Pissed That Woody Had Murder Buzz. But Before The Toys Could React Andy Waltzes Through Searching For Buzz. In a Rush He Grabs Woody And Heads To a Space Theme Pizza Joint Called Pizza Planet. After A Mishap At The Gas Station Where Andy's Mom Refuels,Woody Gets Tackled By a Stole Away Buzz.

So Yadda Yadda Yadda They Get To The Pizza Place Where Buzz Bum Rushes A Spaceship Shaped Toy Crane Machine. (The Cohabitants (3 Eye Aliens) Think The Crane Is God. ) The Evil Psychopathic Neighbor Sid Retrieves Our Fallen Heroes.

Sid Brings Them Home To His Toy Grave Yard Where Buzz Has The Epiphany That He Is In Fact a TOOOOOOYYYY, Buzz Being Emotionally Crushed Admits Defeat And Ready For Death....(A Little Emo For Kids Right?) Woody Saves Buzz From a Rocket Of Death And Uses It To Catch Up With The Moving Vans.....Perfect Master Piece.




In Toy Story 2 Things Have Changed A Lot. Andy Was Away At Summer Camp While His Mom Had a Yard Sale. There Woody Was Accidentally Placed Into a Box Where Toy Enthusiast Al Tries To Buy Him Along With Other Junk For Only 10 Bucks. Luckily Andy's Mom Catches Woody In Time And Stores Woody In Her Cash Box. Unfortunately Al's Fatty Hairy Hands Cracks The Box And Steals Our Cowboy. We Later Find Out That Al Is The Same Al That Pounces Around In a Chicken Suit To Convince Children To His Barn Filled With Toys. (Attention SVU) There Woody Meets Jesse The Rowdy Cowgirl, Stinky Pete The Prospector and Bulleyes The Beloved Horse. Woody Also Learns He's Based Off a Famous Show and Is Worth A Lot Of Clams.

After Getting Repaired, (His Arm Fell Off) Him and The Rest Of His New Crew Were Japan Bound To Spend Eternity In a Glass Case For Bowled Cut Japanese Children. Pototoe Head, Hamm, Rex, Slinky And Of Course Buzz Come To Rescue For Woody. In The Process We Find Out Stinky Pete Really Wants To Go To Japan And Become Eye Candy Forever. Jesse Our Fireclothed Little Bandit (See What I Did There?) Was Once Owned But Is Now Emotionally Damaged Goods. After Defeating Stinky Pete Everyone Goes Back To Andy's Live Their Days Happily Forever After......Until Andy Goes To College. This Is Where Toy Story 3 The Movie I've Waited a 11 years For Comes In.

Apparently Pixar Had a Whole Other Movie In Mind That Didn't Pan Out. But They Won't Tell Us What It Was Because It'll Probably Become Another Plot Line In a Different Movie.

So Andy's Mom Accidentally Donates Andy's Toys. Which Is Fucking Ridiculous. I Still Have All My Beanie Babies, All My Spice Girls Stuff And Even From Pocahontas Shit Too. Maybe It's The Fact My Mother Is a Hoarder And Normally Finds Me Stuff In The Trash and Tells Me It's Still Good.( Thankfully She Saved All Her Tacky Sequined Dresses From The 80's!)

So Our Toys Are At This Day Care, Everything Seems Amazing. They'll Always Be Played With And Will Always Be Loved. But The Other Toys There Seem To Have a Mafia Going On Where They Whack Off The New Toys It Seems.  (Side Note: I Knew This Kid In College Obsessed With Disney Stuff. He Had Sheets,Posters and Even a Fully Snow Globe Collection. When I Heard He Got a Job At Disney World I Wasn't Shocked.) So Buzz Gets Rebooted Into a Spanish Space Cadet. Leaving The Other Toys To Fend For Themselves.

Also Slinky Who Was Voiced By Jim Varney You Know Ernest? But Sadly He Passed Away. But Replacing Him Is None Other Than Blake Clark...FUCKING SHAWN HUNTER'S DADDY! Perfect Match. I Had Thought About It The Other Day That It Must Have Been Him And I Was Right.

Ok I'm Done. I Totally Nerded Out Disney Style On You.

One Fish,Two Fish, Red Fish......

I Recently Got Rid of My Little Mermaid Hair. It Was Beyond Difficult For Me But It Was a Necessary Change To Get Me Outta Of My Funk. The Disney Classic Was a Staple In My Childhood Days. My Sister And Our Friends Would Pick Our Characters On The Sunday Morning After a Sleep Over. After The Pancakes and Milk We'd Get Our Sleeping Bags Around The Television Set And Perform As Ariel,Ursula and Sebastian. I Was Always Ariel and My Older Sister Was Ursula. (Especially When Ursula Becomes a Babe) Redheads Have Aroused Me For Decades But Ariel Just Really Got My Engine Going Every Time.



A Few Years Ago I Was Driving To The Store, I Was Skipping Through a Boat Load Radio Stations Then This One Radio Show Caught My Attention. After Arriving At My Destination, I Sat in My Champagne Colored Cruiser For 20 mins During That Hot Sticky Summer Day.


I Was So Wrapped Up In This Story. It Was About A College Student From Columbia University From The Early 90's The Pre-Internet Era.( Uggghh I Shutter To Imagine Such an Awful Place.....)Like Most Colleges Of It's Day Columbia Had a Voicemail System For Each Of It's Students. There Was a Voicemail Message That Became Infamous Across The Land In The 90's. Now This DiscJockey Wouldn't Play The Message But Continues To Blow Up It's Notoriety For a Quarter of an Hour. This Voicemail Became So Popular That Kids Had Made Remixes Of It, 12 Minute Long House Music Trance Songs Dedicated To It and a Whole Variety Show Was Inspired By It. This Radio Journalist Even Hunted Down Some Graduates Of Columbia To Ask Them About The Tape In Question. Most Started To Laugh Or Giggle While Reminiscing About Their Good Ole College Years.
He Eventually Found The Original Owner Of The Voicemail.

The Voicemail Goes Like This "You And The Little Mermaid Can Both Go Fuck Ya Selves...I Can't Find Your Books I Think There In La Hoya....BYEEEEEEE"Jonathan Goldstein Had Said "Bitch Squealer" And For Some Dominatrix Reasoning....I Had To Listen. To Here The Radio Show Click Here.

Now The Little Mermaid Has A Lot More Meaning To Me Then It Did As a Child. Sometimes There Are Some People Outside Of My Inner Circle That Know Of This Columbia Urban Legend And I'm So Thankful To The Joy It's Brought Me Over The Years.


Just Like The Movie and The Radio Show...My Mermaid Hair Had Brought Me Much Joy and Satisfactions. Now Without It I Feel Like The Mighty Samson I Have Fallen Without My Hair Which Had Blessed Me With Strength, Courage and Good Fortune. Damn You. Now I Feel Naked, Alone, Confused and Lost. Just Like Spring Break 2004 When I Woke Up Naked In The Woods From a Black Out.


The Following Will Be Fan Art Of The Little Mermaid And Photos Of Myself As Ariel/Jessica Rabbit On The Streets































This Is My Favorite Part of The Whole Movie That's Non Mermaid Related.









Please Read My Other Blog About Redheaded Cartoons Here