I'm Like in a Music Video

Absolut Vodka hired New York's sleaziest hunks, Team Facelift, to make a music video for them. We bought a bunch of drugs, invited a whole brunch of freaky weirdos we know, and BOOM! History was made.

Check it out.http://absolut.com/en/iaaw/visionaries/facelift


I'm in it for a second but these are my boys and it's one of the best nights I had while chillin with them in a dark dank gutter . I came dressed as my infamous craddle robber...it was like being a super hero!

NYC's own Sandy Kane was there making me look like an amateur hour. Nothing kicks the sexual tension up a notch like a fog machine, raw fish guts and a battle axe.

And Then There Was The Sunrise

After several mini trips to our home base headquarters we're back in Exile Island. But the temptations of going back into the city are biting our fingertips like crazy to make up our minds. Sex,Drugs and Violence always sound better when there's a Markers Mark on the rocks waiting for you at your favorite spot as your favorite people are around. "But the time has come" the Walrus said. We must avoid dangerous territory just a little longer until the cement dries in the quicksand pit....Pictures shall be up sooner then later...kisses

Why Indy Films are Way Better then the soft core porn on Showtime

While still surviving my exile. I've been making things happen for myself in this damp weather. But on those extra cold nights when the Heinken just isn't hitting me in the right way I snuggle up with Cookie Monster to watch the ole boobtube. Ever since I was a little girl Showtime had the primo soft core porn. But all the fake tits and awful angled shots are way too glamourous for me sadly. But after this special about sex in indy films on IFC. I've been watching more international films and independant flicks, you because of my deep passionate love for the cinema and not for my perverted ways. (lies) Reguardless. Spank the Monkey and Lie with Me are this week's top choices.

Spank the Monkey is a bout a college boy that takes care of his bedridden mother......Automatically I was like "Yes!" Incest! Totally on point. Everytime he rub downs his mother he gets hard and felonies ensue. LOVES IT....I mean he can't help it his mother is that hot.

Lie with Me I've avoided this a few times while on my late nights prawls for movies at 4 am but I couldn't resist when I saw Eric Balfour chasing this girl down an alley way. I have a thing about alley ways and playgrounds and this movie has sooo many playground shots! The sex scenes are totally every other scene and "Gah I can't stop staring at your penis" as my good friend Jason would say......Saucy little movies

The Saucy Life

Things have been very saucy the last week or so. I'm not sure what it is. It's a combination of things I suppose but lemme give you a little insight on it. Fonda is one of my Heroes. As you can tell by his killer style he brings light into my life. He is my little Ginger Snap. His txts just have been really keeping me smiling for awhile. Let's just say....he won't be suprised when he wakes up in an uncomfortable tunk on it's way to New Jersey.

Shinneecock Hills is better at midnight!

What do you do when you run into your best friends from grade school and she has new boobies? You play with them of course! My girl and I haven't seen each other since 7th grade and before that it was 1st grade! As I was leaving the house we'd just played beer pong at I get a little ring a ding ding on my cellie. It's her! She says in the coolest way possible, wanna go sleding? How could I refuse an offer like tthat? I mean I just played with her tits for an hour I might as well do whatever she tells me to do from that point on right? She continues to ask me if I need any clothes. At this point I totally realised I needed everything, the boots,the gloves, long johns you name it.

I get to her house after some 007 driving tactics to avoid the slime bastards that keep pulling me over. I arrive to her humble neighborhood and she's holding about 15 pieces of clothing just for me. My eyes started to tear up....we were about to do some major beyond major damage....After retrieving our sleds we were off on our adventure....SHINEECOCK HILLS here we come!..

We arrive beers and all and start walking up these massive hills. Half of the hills were already muddy puddles and the tall grass really sucked to get whipped by when you went belly first but it was fucking rad how fast we went. After a few mini kegs or beer we get a little call. It's her bf, he felt bad for not coming. He was about to join us. The second he was foot distance she fucking tackles this bitch to the snow covered ground and then it was on! Black and mild in hand he was sleding down the hills with us. It wasn't until our last hill I noticed my flipping house keys weren't in my pocket.
At this point I knew I should have boofed them like planned but that seemed a little painful concerning all the belly flops I'd be doing. After we recovered her man's missing cell we continued on with our search for my keys....finally I discover them in a dark footprint. I automactally stuff down my pants ice and all and we went on 7 more hills.....

By the time we were done it was nearly 2:30 am.....my tits have never been so excited in years!

Fabrication June 17 2007

Hello Hello Friends


So I've been contemplating over video blogging vs a written blog. What would be easier or better for myself and my audience.Once I work out the kinks of it possibly maybe be seeing my doing my Fabrication on a different level but who knows?

Breaking News!

Kristy Swanson the original Buffy The Vampire Slayer was arrested last night for beating up her current boyfriend's ex-wife. TMZ reports drama erupted between Swanson and Marcia O'Brien last year when began an affair with the very married Lloyd Eisler, who eventually left O'Brien for Swanson, and the pair now have a son together.

Baby News

Nicole Richie the tiniest reality star, is rumored to be preggers with Joel Madden's pop rock baby. Friends are saying she hopes this will keep her out of jail... Madden just wrapped up touring. Wait if he's been on tour and she 7 weeks preggers, I maybe not be a doctor but that doesn't sound right.

Eddie Murphy was at an LA health clinic this week to give his half of the DNA test to see if he's the father of Spice Girl Mel Brown. I think he's just shamed of the fact that he's having a baby with someone else besides his ex wife and that's why he's been sucha flipping lumberjack about this whole situation. Mel B and Eddie briefly dated last winter and vacation together a lot with their kids. Mel B says she still hopeful that they may get back together. Mean while in Eddie Murphy Land, Eddie was the one that came out on Swedish Tv saying he wasn't sure if that was his baby. Then putting more gasoline soaked wood on the fire, he brings this uber hot chick to the all the award shows......You are more then qualified to play a Jackass for Shrek 3.

Anglina Jolie visited the Daily Show this week to promote her latest flick, A Mighty Heart. During the interview she mentioned she wanted up to 7-13 kids. Yo this chick has sucha big heart. It's better she's loving children instead of sleeping with a bunch of dudes like, Colin Farrel right?

Shar Jackson confirmed on Ryan Seacrest's radio show that nothing is going on in her uterous. Rumors flying around that she was pregnant with K-Fed's newest baby. Shar and Kevin are very close friends and still hang out a lot. But Shar, hun if people think your pregnant and you just got lipo done, I think I'd be worried. No I'd be pissed at the doctor....

Lindsay Lohan is rumored to some how snuck her blackberry into Promises Rehab Center. Sources say "She's been txting and calling all her friends to help her sneak in sleeping pills. She's having trouble sleeping at night and is desperate need of pills." Other sources say she's been loading on the sweets, putting 20 bags of sugar in her coffee. Addicts are known for turning to other vises like sugar because it gives them a little high. Detoxing sucks ass yo. Getting the sweats and tremors isn't fun at all. I hope they have something entertaining to do at Promises. Like jet skiing or at least trampoline. Yeah, a trampoline would totally keep my mind off crack.

Paris Hilton was transferred in the middle of the night from Twin Towers Correctional Facility to a little less hectic Lynwood Century Regional Detention Facility. Which is far less busy with only 15 beds instead of 200 at Twin Towers which shelter mostly lunatics and crack babies. Her new cellmates are happy for her return. Due to the fact that they gave all the prisoners 2 bottles of shampoo each. Which they usually have to pay for. This generosity comes after a multi-million dollar law suit against the California County Prison. One of their former inmates is suing because the prison never provided her with the same medical "assistance", they've given to Paris. Did I mention she has no legs? Yeah they totally made her crawl around in the showers instead of assisting her. I hope you get all the money you need girl.

Britney Spears is my hero. Not only did she flash her goods again this week but her fling is talking about their sex life. The greasy I never take off my Sunglasses producer, JR Rotem is bragging about how he fucked her in Blender Magazine. Apparently she likes it wheel barrel style. Which, I have to say takes lots of upper body strength. If you all remember Britney wasn't that fit back in December, so I can't say she did it for hours at a time.
Also Lynn Spears aka Momma Spears is making bank on her Us Weekly cover. If you recall Momma Spears was going to go onto the View to do a tell all interview. But backed out last minute because she needs money. Britney and Momma seem to be talking now. which is good because I've been watching mad old interviews where Brit Brit is talking about how her mom is her best friend and I honestly feel like she needs the guidance of a bad mother.



Hot Shows to Catch

Entourage returns tonight! I totally can't wait for Pablo! Pablo is a coming, Pablo is a coming!

Creature Comfort is probably the funniest thing to watch at 4 am with a bowl of fried rice. This first time I saw this, it was Christmas 2006 with my sister in the Atlantis Hotel in the Bahamas. It was so flipping funny but we never knew what the name of the movie was. But now that it's on a tv show format and on CBS you all should catch it.

Kathy Griffin My Life on the D list, this Bravo jem is one of the most entertaining shows on the network. Kathy and her D list crew decided that Kathy should only date men that would push her career on the D list. So they got her a date with Backstreet Boy Nick Carter. We watched Nick "turn black" 6 times throughout their date. Best part is when Nick leaned in for the kiss he totally only got cheek. This is totally DVR worthy.

4400 returns tonight! I'm so flipping excited. Our favorite bunch of mysterious beings are back for another summer of crazy plot twist and mutantion galore! Check it out on USA.

Charm School is truly the most re-dic thing on the tube. The most shocking moments is on tonight. Poor Mo has had to deal with crackheads,hookers, and pimps. But boy, oh boy is it entertaining watching these bitches fight over $50,000. Brooke aka Pumpkin famous for spitting on New York's face during her stint on Flavor of Love was kicked off for sloring herself during the prom. Literally humping and grinding her way through the bunch. After being kicked off for her behavior Brooke proved to America she wasn't a hoe, she was just a girl who loves to fuck and flashed her itty bitty titties. CCCCCCClassy.

Don't waste your time watching

Sunset Tan Just confirms that white people are retarded. Sorry, I mean pale. To get dooped into paying these numb skulls to paint you up a narsty shade or orange. On the first episode in the first five minutes they use their biggest star, Britney Spears. Since then they had big names like Chris Kattan and an old dude that played dead so the blonde Olly girls could show off how truly brain numbing they are.

Celebrity Sighting

Sarah Jessica Parker doing grocery shopping with hubby Mathew Broderick in Amagensett at IGA.

{Summer Has Officially Started In The Hamptons.I know because I had to give 3 Sag Harbor cops blow jobs just to get out of a parking ticket....}

Ashlee Simpson is chased by very large and very loud New Jersey Mall Hoppers outside of Peter Wentz (Fall Out Boy) club Kings and Angels. Celebrating Peter's 28th birthday instyle....yeah right.

Jared Letto was seen leaving an LA club with a guy. Holding his arm smiling and giggling more then a cathlic school girl.

Celebrity Weddings to Look out for

Eva Longoria and Tony Parker

Fergie Ferg and Josh Duhamel

Amy Winehouse is having a second wedding for her Pops soon. (She also wants to pop out babies like Pez)

Heidi and Spencer from the hills but they don't count as celebs

Hello, Friends,

I return after my month of May Break.


The headlines have been splashed with Lindsay Lohan news for months now.
Is anyone shocked? I don't think so. But I do have to say the cover of People Magazine
with little Parent Trap Lindsay and "WHAT HAPPENED TO LINDSAY LOHAN?"
written across. Golden, Golden. We all know what happened.
Her parents let her get boobies at 17 and
then she was the it girl of 2004
then she got into all the illiest parties,
she slept with half of Holl-o-Wood.
Drinking awesome shots listening to awesome music and talking to awesome people sucking up each others awesomeness?

Samantha Ronson has been receiving lots of muck towards her name lately.
Rumors surfaced that she maybe responsible for Lindsay's downward spiral. Yeah? SO? Samantha Never Made Lindsay SNORT up a Snowstorms of Coke??
But the recent photos of Lindsay passed out, were staged.
The Dj apparently has a contract with a photog company and has been txting photographers where she and Lilo were heading that evening. Teddy's. Then a pitstop at a gas station. Isn't it wierd that Sam stopped for gas when her tank was 3/4's full???


Paris Hilton Is scheduled to enter prison shortly. 23 days without Paris Hilton.
Now if we could get the rest of the STD crew out of the papers for a while
the world may be a better place.

Nicole Richie is taking lots of heat for an personal email invitation to her friends.The only part of the email that would be considered awful was the disclaimer to chubby BBQ guest.
" No girls over 100 pounds are allowed in. There will be a scale at the door. Start Starving yourselves now"

So it wasn't a mystery when little Mischa Barton was hospitalized.
Witness say she was mixing drugs and alcohol throughout the party
until she complained of pains. After two hours of no knowledge of her current condition
she was released to her crying family members. Her little sister,whom was recently finished a stint in rehab was a mess at the hospital. My one problem is....if Mischa went to the hospital in one outfit, why did she leave the hospital in a gown & slippers?

Vanessa Minnillo maybe having the worse week ever. Not only did this little sloreface "leave" Mtv's TRL she was also fired from her ET job......Oooh Vanessa can you and Nick still afford your new condo? Page six has this to add

"While friends of Minnillo insist it was she who decided not to renew the contract with "ET," insiders say her bosses at CBS Paramount soured on her when she covered the Grammys in February. Minnillo was not assigned to the Academy Awards in March." On top of this photos surfaced from a party last summer of her and Lindsay Lohan with knives. Yo I see kids on myspace with knives all the time. Don't hate because they wanted whack photos together.



Things to DVR This Summer


Creatures Comfort-claymation at it's funniest

Last Comic Standing- Enjoy the different style of comics across the nation

The Next Best Thing- Ever been to old Vegas? Miss those drag shows of yester-year?

America's Got Talent-Sharon Osbourne debuts as a judge this season and new host Jerry Springer

Then the rest of reality/ competition shows too.
Wanna dance or sing or become a butt pirate?
This summer is ready for you.

The Jackson's auctioned off decades worth of memorabilia this week.From Michael's rhinstone covered jackets, Janet's dresses from their Variety shows.Jackson 5 outfits and gold records and much much more. estimate worth $35 mil


Celebrity sightings

May 10th Susan Sarandon & Top Designer Todd Oldham at Knitting Factory
for Dj Vibe & Max Barbaria and The Guts

May 12th Sam Rockwell at the night club BOX drunkenly roaming the streets at 2 am.

May 28th Fergie performs for a Gotti wannabe crowd at White House aka CPI I don't care what color your paint was. That will always be CPI and that will always be Hampton Bays....bottom line GROSS

Bobby Brown is spotted in both The Hamptons & NYC for Memorial Day Weekend at a slue of different clubs and blonde bombshells.

June 4th Ryan Reynolds Aster Place being a hunk

Summer Flick Picks

Spiderman 3- I haven't liked the other 2 movies. So I was entering the theatre hating everything already. I liked Spiderman 3 more then the other two but you still sucked a lot. No matter what they do I'll probably always hate this franchise. Kirstin Drunkst portrayed Mary-Jane as this pathetic whimpering little girl. The Mary-Jane I Grew up loving was a strong level headed girl that wouldn't let a man ruin her day. But I love James Franco and Toby's performances. They were funny,cute and lame at times. Only go see this if you truely just want to know what happens to the characters.

Pirates 3 YO totally blew Spiderman 3 out of the water! It was sooooo good. Keira Knightly was watchable. Elizabeth Swan has grew up into an interesting heroine. William Turner turns out to be one of the greatest pirates I've ever seen.Capt. Jack is crazier then ever and all together it's just soo flipping good folks. My only question was, Why were all the asian pirates covered with syphilis? Okay I get it, it's historically accurate....but seriously All of them had it? ALL OVER THEIR FACE!

Shrek 3 still haven't seen it. But It's on the do list.


Summer has just opened it's doors. Let's start the season off right and don't stop til Oct!